Author: Continue To Breathe

Dental Yoga (need photo)

There are times when yoga expands into daily life…at least for a while. Somehow along the yoga way I have been caught by my sweetheart standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth while I am holding my leg up with my other hand.  The yoga pose is Extended Hand-Toe Pose (Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana – don’t ask me to pronounce that.).  I found it interesting one morning that I was able to grab my toe and hold my leg up there parallel to the ground – and I happened to be brushing my teeth at the time.  I wasn’t really thinking about anything that morning and I just started positioning myself to hold my toe and stretch out my leg.  It worked!  So I tried the other leg, and lo, it worked too.  A couple mornings into this my sweetie walked around the corner and bam, I’m caught.   It is hard to brush my teeth with my leg up in the air while I am laughing and trying to explain myself with a mouth full of toothpaste.  Oh, the joys of yoga when you live with someone.

This whole thing started after I found myself in Ashtanga Yoga classes.  That Hand-Toe Pose that has invaded my morning, and then my evening, dental routine is basically standing on one leg while holding the other outstretched leg by the big toe.  (add photo here).  I can’t seem to achieve this pose during class.  Well, not for enough seconds to count.   But, somehow I am able to do this posture in the morning while I brush my teeth, and again at night.  While I am holding my big toe neither of my legs is particularly straight.  My back is rounded so that my fingers can just get out there far enough to grasp my toe.  Just so you know I will not be posting a photo of myself here to prove 1. that I can in fact do this pose, nor 2. how badly I do this pose.  And I certainly will not be showing off my toothbrush to you either.  The fact remains that while my battery operated tooth brush is working away at quadrant one and two I can hold one leg up.  And when my toothbrush is working on quadrants 3 and 4 I am able to hold up the other leg.  This comes to a full minute for each leg.  It’s a matter of pride.  And apparently this is a real hoot for my sweetie.

The Ashtanga Yoga Instructor has relocated and we no longer have an Ashtanga option at the studio I practice with.  The closest studio that does offer Ashtanga is now forty five minutes away by car.  I don’t know how long I can keep this dental routine going, and continue to breathe.

A Break Through

A break through

Today was a bit of a break-through for yoga classes.  I think today I was seen as an actual yoga instructor.  It’s the first time I have felt that way at any rate.

When I was given the room to hold classes and had a scheduled time set up I sent out emails to the people that had expressed an interest in attending, inviting them to come on out to join me.  My email said to bring your mat if you have one, but don’t worry if you don’t.  I had understood yoga mats were available.  But when I got to the room for the first class there were no mats anywhere.  I have two mats that I brought with me.  Thankfully I had brought towels to use as straps for modifications.  I had twelve people on my email, so I had brought twelve towels.  Six people came to class and that was great, but only three of us had mats.  We laid out two towels per person to keep them off the floor and I adjusted my sequencing postures to mostly standing poses and supine options.  No Chataranganga or Locust poses for this first day.  We had an okay practice.  First day and all.

The next class, last week, everyone came back so I was pleased.  But we used the towel trick again.   Still no one extra brought in a yoga mat.  I brought all three of my mats last week and that helped.

This morning I went down to our yoga room as soon as I got in to poke around to see if any mats are available. Dragging around multiple yoga mats is getting old.  For another thing, there is nowhere to leave them safely stowed away for next time.  Today I found the cartful of mats assigned to the room.  They were behind a hidden door in a huge closet running along the side of the room.  The whole wall is actually a closet.  I found yoga mats, mat cleaner and bolsters.  Ta da!  We have a yoga room.

In my reminder email this morning I included a note letting everyone know we have mats.  Come to class if you have a mat or not – we got you covered.  As everyone filed in for class today I could see in their eyes the relief at having a mat for themselves.  There are not enough bolsters for everyone so I had each person take two mats.  One to unroll for their space, and one to stay rolled up as a bolster.  Yes, it’s still a little makeshift, but enough mats are available for everyone to practice.

Everyone was able to elevate their hips during seated easy pose.  We actually got to flow through a series of Sun Salutations including modified Chatarangas.  For me practice felt complete.

At the conclusion of the day I requested everyone clean their mat, roll them up and place them back on the cart.  It is amazing how well this was received.  Everyone said thank you to me as they filled the cart back up with mats.  It’s as though having the mats has legitimized my position as instructor.  Nothing I could have said, or done would have made the difference that having these yoga mats does.  My peeps are taken care of.  Now we can continue to breath.

Really?

What?! Another yoga blog?  Another somebody spouting the virtues of strong body, mind and spirit?  Yep.  I’m lovin’ on my yoga.  I’ve been at it, on and off, since I was nineteen and there’s nothing you can do about it.  I feel good.  Let’s be clear, I still like me some wine, or a dry martini.  I like my chocolate and my late nights partying with my peeps.  I indulge in popcorn, and chili dogs and texting while walking.  My phone and I like to check in with each other every few minutes to feel the love.  One of my favorite breakfasts is regular ol’ buttermilk pancakes with cheap sugary syrup and a couple slabs of Spamtm.  No, I’m not Hawaiian, I just like Spamtm.  I like it grilled, otherwise don’t mess with it.  It’s perfect just like it is.  I didn’t even know Spamtm was a Hawaiian specialty until I moved to western Washington and met my Island friends.

I also like to hear my breathing, as in Ujjayi Pranayama that sounds like the ocean in my body (to me).  I don’t have to huff with the exertion of running or skipping rope or pounding a punching bag.  I can just breathe.  I have learned to use my nostrils to alternate my breath and gain inner balance.  Who’d of thunk that would be so cool?  I have expelled “negative” energy in a Lion’s Breathe that was probably such bad breathe it would have knocked over an entire bed of roses.  On a side note – I now scrape my tongue in the morning to help with my breath.  That’s probably too much information.

Yoga opens up my body, my chest, my hips, and my back with each of the poses.  I like knowing that my ankles are getting stronger the longer I stand on one leg regardless if I am pretending to be a tree or a flying warrior or a half moon – and even when I am just brushing my teeth.  I like pretending to be a tree and a flying warrior and a half moon.  I like pretending I am young and pretty too.  My favorite pretend is that I am intelligent.  Sometimes that one works best.

I don’t have to sweat to feel my body grow stronger.  I don’t have to disturb anyone or even turn on the lights.  What I make teaching pays for my own classes.  With yoga I have found a community that gets together on a regular basis.  And we all feel good after practice.  There is everything right in feeling good.  We are not kidding ourselves.  We just feel good.

I come away from yoga feeling centered and complete.  My whole body is working with me and not against me, even if just for a little while.  And the more I do yoga the more my body works with me.  This feeling is sustainable.  When my body feels good the rest of me just tags along for the good ride.  Stability in my body pours out as stability in my emotions.  That’s huge.  That’s better than any little pill, and I have tried a couple.

Really, I’m just another yoga chick.  Feeling the good, wanting to expand on the feeling, wanting to share and support other yoga lovin’ yogis.  It’s a real thing.

Top 100

I looked up the top 100 Yoga teachers in America.  I want to know if there are any Yogis in my neck of the woods.  Is one hiding nearby in Tacoma or Olympia, Washington?  Seattle yoga studios all sound ridiculously hip and absolutely have the best of the best for teachers.  But do they?  I needed an outside opinion.

Google sent me a list of sites that rate the top influential teachers in America.  That is probably what I meant anyway.  One list from Sonima gives 100 influential teachers in America.  With a hundred people to look through I scrolled quickly hoping to find someone I could connect with.  I wanted to know if there were any here in Washington state.  I would be willing to travel within my state to practice with someone that is truly knowledgeable.  I would consider Oregon or Idaho too. I could be up for a weekend trip.

There are some great people on this list.  Okay, so they are not near me, but it’s a pretty good list.  One of them not in my area (at all) that made the list is Rodney Yee.  Oh, how I love his cueing.  I don’t have to watch these videos, I only have to listen.  He understands communicating the posture.  I do like watching the videos though as he is always moving.  There is no such thing as a “held” posture, nothing static, he is constantly adjusting.

For my area I found Ana Forrest on Orcas Island.  Holy cow!  That’s just a day trip away.  SCORE!  Ana is listed as number 4 in this particular “Top 100” list.  But hey! She’s not even teaching in the United States.  On her website I see teacher training in South Africa.  Hmmm, that might be a little far away.

Almost at the end of the list is Patrick Beach in Seattle.  I make the trip to Seattle for my regular paying job five days a week.  It appears on his website that he doesn’t work in any particular studio nearby.  His next teacher training is scheduled in Los Angeles.

Most everyone else on the list are in New York and along the coast of California.

I suppose what I get out of this website wormhole of seeking influential teachers of our time is that the great ones are already out of my reach.  With an exception.  And this is the greatest exception.

Last year I attended the Northwest Yoga Conference.  (I have to say, I know how to pick ‘em.)  Speaking at the conference last year was Seanne Corn.  She hales from Topanga, CA.  Seanne Corn is on the list of “Top 100”.  This is my cue to keep attending conferences and events if I want to learn from the masters.

That was a great conference.  Seanne’s participation was THE BEST Dharma talk I have ever attended.  In her all day workshop I felt that I was being handed everything that I hadn’t gotten from my 200 hour yoga teacher training.  (That’s another blog post, maybe two.)  Seanne really laid it on the line, spoke regular people speak, and infused so much teacher training, personal insight and philosophy into her hours.  I have pages and pages of notes from that workshop.  She shared books to read, and more teachers to refer to.  Seanne said a couple things I still remember (but I checked my notes to get it correct here)…

“Teachers are bridges.  We don’t own our students…we are moving them on” to the next step of their journey.

When a student is feeling the internal energy, that “aha!”, it is our job to get out of the way to let them experience this. Let them feel. (paraphrased)

“A good teacher is a conduit.  As a teacher it is necessary to stay grounded.”

Seanne led a massive group (200? 300?) people in practice.  It was magical. Later she described the format she used and why.  The why opened my eyes to what is possible.

This year at the Northwest Yoga Conference there are three of the “Top 100”.  Featured speakers are Tiffany Cruikshank, Amy Ippoliti, and even Maty Ezraty.  I was able to get a spot in the workshops with Maty Ezraty and Tiffany Cruikshank.

I suppose the upshot of this is, search for the best, you will find it.  And continue to breathe.

 

 

Jitters

Class is getting easier to lead.  I kind of feel I am in the groove.  People are coming every week.  I have a couple regulars.  I don’t know how to grab back the people that haven’t returned.  There are two young ladies that were really excited that yoga was going to be offered.  One of them came to the early – non-sanctioned classes and really liked it.  She brought her friend with her to the group class and then neither of them have been back.  I hear things like; I forgot my stretchy pants.  While I know yoga isn’t everyone’s cup of tea I still want to fill the room every week.

Today was a good strong group.  There were four of us this time.  Three are new to yoga.  I am their first yoga instructor.  Ever.  For me that means I will be doing a lot of talking, a lot of explaining the mechanics – left foot back, right foot back, square up your hips,  describing where center of gravity should be, how to plant one’s feet for alignment, allow yourself to breathe into the posture.

It always surprises me that I can’t remember “arch” of one’s foot.  As in, “Line up the heel of your front foot with the arch of your back foot.”  For some reason the word “arch” escapes me.  Another glitch in my instructions is requesting everyone walk their hands to their feet when I mean to say, walk your feet up to your hands.  Having new students, I am finding that I am not doing my own yoga practice, I am guiding others in theirs.

This week I have a fresh sequence that includes several twists.  With the new patrons I didn’t think to revert back to last week’s sequence.  I was excited to bring in some fresh postures.  Twists are great for loosening stagnant energies.  Twists massage the internal organs.  Twists help to dislodge pent up stress in our bodies.  I was so pleased to incorporate some twists throughout today’s practice.  Twists may not be good for first time yoga practitioners.  But I give away the story there.

Class actually went very well.  I was good at mirroring my left to their right. The twist were easy and understandable.  We started our practice with regular cats and cows, rotating our hips back and forth.  I then had everyone thread the needle, this is more a pose for releasing the shoulders and the back.  There is a twist in it, but we focused on our shoulders. Then we moved into a Child’s Pose (Balasana) to relax, to feel our shoulders and open our back a little more.  As we moved into our standing poses, starting with Half forward fold (Ardha Uttanasana),  then forward fold -holding our elbows for deepening our posture, I had the group rock back and forth.  I cue’d for grounding our feet, feeling our hips, back and hamstrings opening. We came up to Mountain Pose, Samasthiti and back to forward fold.  We repeated full-fold, half-fold, Mountain Pose and Samasthiti. Then we went to Chair Pose (Utkatasana) returning to Samasthiti a couple times and then complete this with a twisted chair pose – once each side.  I did not have the group hold this pose but for a breath each side, I could see this was the extent of their abilities today.  We moved on to a Warrior Sequence. The Warrior went over well.  Everyone seems to know Warrior II (Virabradrasana II).  I spoke of hip placement and elongating the core with the inhale.  We completed this sequence with Triangle pose (Utthita Trikonasana).  Though to me this is not a twisting pose the opening of the core in this pose can feel dislodging to one’s gut and mid-core.  Regardless, the class was moving along really well.  I felt like a real yoga master.

Once we made it to the floor poses I was having the group twist into a Belly Twist with legs extended.  It feels great on the back and hips.  I feel this pose up into my shoulders, my pectorals as well.  I heard sighs of release from the group.  I knew I was reaching everyone.  I was happy to be a part of this.   We held our knees and made little circles to massage the lower back.   I guided the group into Happy Baby pose and then we came to rest for Corpse Pose.  Everything went just as I had sequenced it.  The group was responsive and flowing.  We were in the groove.

Later, it was later that afternoon that I received a chat asking, “Should I be feeling all jittery?”  It was then that I realized I too was unable to calm myself or to focus on the project in front of me.  I was feeling scattered and agitated for no known reason.  My confidence came crashing down.  Did I teach inappropriately?  Did I do this?  What am I to tell her, a newbie at that, about dislodging energy?  What should I have done to get everyone back to the calm and focus that we look for after yoga practice?  Did I sequence this right, or was the sequence even healthy?  I’ve been doing yoga for a long time and even I felt the effects of this twisted session.  I don’t think it’s just an advanced class sequence, I think it really did shake up people’s bodies.

My answer back, and the general e-mail I sent out said, “Thank you all for coming today.  I appreciate being able to guide you in your yoga practice.  I wish you all a wonderful weekend.  We worked some powerful energy today so please drink lots of water and be kind to yourself this weekend.  I look forward to seeing you all next week.”  I refilled my own water and started drinking to calm down.

Here’s the thing, did I do something wrong?  I admit, I’m a little panicked. Was the sequence too invigorating?  What kind of damage does this create?  I’m feel like I’m on shaky ground.  I don’t get it.  Is it the twists?  It seems an obvious answer to me.  I don’t have enough training here to know.  I don’t have enough training to know that this would happen.  I haven’t heard from anyone else.  Yoga is meant to heal not create crazy.  I am worried about my peeps.  I had no idea yoga was this strong.

For future reference – this Friday Lunch Drop-In is meant as a quick, light-fare, lunchtime escape.  I need to keep in mind that there may always be new people.  I want to pull together two or three light sequences for the shoulders, the hips and the back and leave it at that.  I am not some guru-yogini-master. Lunchtime yoga is not here to heal anyone.  It is ginger-ale for whatever may afflict you.  That’s it.  I am a new instructor.  Full stop.  May we all just continue to breath.

When Sunday Comes to Practice

Sunday has been coming to my house to practice yoga for over two years now.  She has arthritis in her hip that hurts bad enough that for several years already she has been going in to the doctor to get Cortisone injections.  I didn’t realize these injections are a procedure that includes an anesthesiologist and a very long needle.  I hear ‘shot’ and I think flu, something I can get at the neighborhood pharmacy.  Apparently not.

Sunday has not felt the pain enough to go in for her cortisone for over two years now.  I did not realize the relief that slow regulated movement can do for this kind of pain.  I am like, really proud that something I do for her can make such a difference.

This last Sunday, so yesterday, I was determined to give a successful yoga hour.  Something that will stay with Sunday for the whole week.  As an instructor I have been feeling bad that two weeks ago when she came by to practice yoga I did some pretty perfunctory poses, and called it good.  I just didn’t take the time to feel it.  It’s not that I didn’t want to feel it.  My mind was tired.  I was feeling drained.  I know, because I’ve been there, that the drained feeling can be totally recharged with yoga…but I didn’t go there.  I don’t know why.  I’ve been feeling guilty of not taking care of Sunday for two weeks.

Determination is a good thing.  I don’t care what you are doing.  If one is determined to make a difference…it happens.  It has to, there’s no choice.  The difference in Sunday, and my own body from our practice is fantastic.  It is palpable.  We started with our wrists, as I know her wrists get tired throughout our hour and a half together.  We did gentle seated twists as we sat in easy pose with our legs crossed.  The leg crossing agitates Sunday’s knees and legs and ankles so I don’t linger.  But we do breathe into each posture.  Every breath is sent to release the muscles and ligaments that are responding to the posture.

Our back, our back and spine and vertebrae are of absolute importance to me.  I know it is important for Sunday to open the hips – and this release lasts all week for her.  To me it is important that all the parts still work together and the back is a conduit, a firing rod, the stake in the ground that is best as a strong, straight staff that connects smoothly with the hips.

Sunday and I spend some time in cats and cows rotating the hips in a stable pose.  I know her wrists are starting to feel the burn as we move on to Bird-Dog pose for the Psoas muscles (find Ray Long, MD, FRCSC web page for Bird-Dog – Link here).  Just switching up the right and the left arm is enough to keep us going.  Once we are done with Bird-Dog twice each side we relax into Child’s Pose and roll our wrists as they rest on the mat overhead.

Every week is different.  This week as we come up on our knees from Child’s Pose we moved into Gate Latch Pose (Parighasana) and Sunday felt the hip opening.  Personally, I don’t feel the opening.  I had thought this a bland posture.  For Sunday, this posture is huge wonderful.  I wanted to be sure she didn’t collapse her side body, and that the hips were squared up and all that.  Sunday was simply glad to feel the hip flexion and the rotation.

So, to fast-forward here to our wide legged forward fold, we had our blocks in front of us as we folded over at the hips.  Sunday and I place our hands at our hips so we can feel the pivot action centered right there.  I’m sure I was yacking on and on about keeping the back straight, don’t worry about how low you go, etc…take hold of the block when you get close and adjust it to the right height to use the block for stability as we hold and breathe into the posture.  Sunday moves her block to a comfortable height.  We stay here for a while breathing and talking.  Sunday tells me she’s not feeling this posture in her hips, she’s feeling this posture in her shoulders. Huh.  For me this is all a hip and legs posture.  But Sunday is feeling it in her shoulders?  I can take all the teaching classes there is time available for, but I learn way more from actually teaching.  I learn more from my students.  I wonder that it is ingrained faster when I hear things from my students.  Today (Monday) I tried to recreate the scene, but to feel the posture in my shoulders.  I haven’t found it yet.  I get close to feeling the posture in my shoulders when my back is rounded, but nothing worth mentioning.  I don’t know what I would do different.  Maybe we can start next week with shoulder releasing postures.

In fact, for Sunday we did move on to postures like Eagle Arms (Garudasana – arms only, in a seated position) to release the shoulders.

Overall, Sunday and I enjoyed a deep practice.  We both felt strong, energized and relaxed when we were done.  Savasana’s focus was on how happy each of our body parts are.  The ankles are happy to be stronger than when we started our practice.  Our hips are pleased to feel such release and relief.  Our shoulder blades are loose and melting with joy into the mat to relax…etc.  It was a fun Savasana.

Alignment

I am teaching body knowledge and alignment

I am not caught up in the latest craze.  But I do want to expand and communicate the joy and wealth of healthy aspects of a really great no-sweat health program.

I don’t want to trivialize anything.  I don’t want to make something so profound it appears out of reach for the average Joe, because the average Joe and Josephine can feel so good so quickly without “working out”, without changing anything but getting up and breathing through some postures during a television show and still feel relaxed.  So, maybe trivializing in this way is a good thing.

I can’t say enough how much greater it feels to practice postures in a quiet, warm and peaceful surrounding, without distraction, only the sounds of the neighborhood, or the air conditioner to hum in the background.  I want to express the warmth and soul-encompassing nature of breathing into a posture and feeling mentally and physically the release of muscles and stress.  I want to share the concept of life that is “effort and ease”.

Am I teaching ancient knowledge toward a sacred end, or a physical knowledge toward a healthy body only?  Where is my alignment?

Famous Firsts

Whoa!  My first class with strangers.  My first group class.  It went over okay.  I had six people show up.  That was perfect.  I wasn’t overwhelmed, and there was plenty of room and the space was well utilized.  I’m happy actually.

Things I did right:

  1. I had a sequence and presentation ready and memorized.
  2. I asked everyone’s name (and remembered them).
  3. I asked for requests. That was a little nerve-wracking. I didn’t want to deviate from my sequence too much that I lose my way.
  4. Let’s see, I kept us on schedule time-wise.
  5. Bring lots of towels – we had to use them for yoga mats.

Things I was surprised by:

  1. As Shelley left she said that she likes my timing – not too fast or too slow.
  2. There aren’t any mats available.  I understood there would be mats.
  3. Shoulders, everyone agreed that shoulders need work – and I was able to incorporate shoulder work with seated postures right after we ended our standing postures. It flowed as if I meant to do it that way.
  4. Mirroring the group is pretty tricky. I feel funny switching up which way I present on the mat to mirror the group. Left means right, right means left. I’m not good with left and right to begin with. I am learning to say, “Bring your opposite foot back into your lunge.”  I never had that problem before.

I’m a yoga instructor and I continue to breathe.

Am I Better for being Certified?

As a newly minted 200 hour yoga teacher certified instructor I have taken a lot of time to consider why I felt the need to go through this training.  I was guiding my friends already before I went through the certification courses.  And let’s be real, a huge reason I went through the certification training was for the certificate.  I do find myself wondering if I was a better instructor before all the high faluting yoga speak was dished out at me.  Here I am after all the courses, wondering why I would want to say Uttanasana rather than Forward Fold.  What the hell?  Yes, I know the word.  It makes me sound exclusionary.

There is a lot of uppity vocabulary in yoga.  Yoga shouldn’t be about learning a new language, and a kind of dead language at that, should it?  I understand the opinion that the words themselves are beautiful.  The words alone can take one to a sacred space.  I recognize that.  But I wonder that it takes a particular kind of class, an intense request for knowledge or an openness to be sacred during yoga to accept this new language enough the learn it.  For most, for most of the classes I have been guiding, teaching this language isn’t where my students are.  Still, I incorporate it.  And maybe my students feel more like they are doing Yoga for it (capital Y).  I incorporate this Sanskrit vocabulary because it is expected, not because it is common knowledge.  Expected, as in, that’s the way it’s always been.  I’m not sure I buy into that idea.

Before I took my training I was laughing with my friends.  We were cutting up about how our faces can scrunch up, even during mountain pose.  We were speaking to each other about how long we keep our arms up for Warrior pose.  It was an interactive class.  Now I am leading the group, and I remind my friends to smile, to relax their shoulders, and there is very little interaction until I hear someone sigh and we are done.

I am more aware, since getting my certificate, of when I am not “doing it right’.  Those first classes after training I was unable to breathe right. I was inhaling to speak and exhaling to provide example…not at all following the inhale and exhale of the asana.  I could only tell others when to inhale and when to exhale. But for myself, I wasn’t breathing with the group.  It just felt wrong.  Today I see I wasn’t wrong, I was just learning to teach.  I didn’t know that giving a class is not at all like doing my own personal practice.  Before my training, class was my personal practice with other people.

The people who came to my class before I was certified, and still do, have injuries and health issues.  Another huge reason to becoming certified was to be sure I wasn’t injuring anyone.  Nowhere in my training did we discuss arthritis, or old knee surgeries, or knees specifically even.  We did not discuss how to assist with folks that have had hip surgery.  Sciatica, ACL tears, dislocated collar bones, ankle injuries, none of these were addressed.  I did not get out of my training that side of things that I wanted to know.  These are the people that are coming to my class.  No, I am not a physical therapist.  But this is what yoga is becoming.  And it is becoming just that with the blessing of the medical industry.

Am I teaching ancient knowledge toward a sacred end, or a physical knowledge toward a healthy body only?  This was not discussed in my teacher training.  I am having to find where that line is for myself.  Both options, and I am sure there are more than just those two, are way more serious than where my mindset was prior to certification.  Life has been fun.  Yoga has been fun.  Now that I am certified can we all just get back to the fun and continue to breathe?

My History of Yoga

I have been practicing yoga since I was nineteen.  It started with a course in college that fulfilled my physical education requirement.  As a drama student I was only required one physical education course as a core class toward my degree.  I thought about tennis and volleyball and ballet.  But yoga stood out as a really cool option.  Something that dovetailed with my new Buddhist outlook.  It would be shocking enough to my parents to please mmake me happy.

I am beginning to think this was the one class I have taken along my entire life.  That year from January to May we met for four hours every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon.

Back then, 1980, we didn’t use yoga mats.  We met in the gymnastics area so the floor was made of cushioned material.  We were to bring a large beach towel.  At the time we were told the towel, or whatever cotton or natural fiber we had placed on the floor to mark our space was sacred to our yoga practice.  It was the towel we were to keep only for that time that we were in our yoga space.  Yoga mats, whether rubber or now the various chemical materials they are made of, just weren’t used.  They hadn’t been thought of I suppose.  I’m not sure the phrase “on the mat” or “off the mat” had any bearing on my practice at that time.

The instructor wasn’t much older than her college students.  She may have been all of twenty-six.  She certainly wasn’t in her thirties.  She was a small woman with a dancer’s body.  I, on the other hand considered myself a large girl.  I see photos now of myself back then and I realize I was petite with muscles that I didn’t know I had.  Keeping my belly flat was my biggest concern.  This woman took her yoga serious.  I was there for something new.

We learned Hatha Yoga.   I’m sure she taught us history of yoga with a lot of reverence to the masters.  I don’t remember any of that except for the atmosphere of coming together for something more that physical exercise.  Alignment was a sacred goal.  Inner focus was insisted on.  She continued for those five months to speak of our back, our spine as the energy source that requires our attention, our focus, our strength and our flexibility.  Our back is our greatest treasure.  If our back is aligned and strong, then our whole body follows in natural course.  Without the strength of our spine our lives become less.  In so many ways she is right.  Today I hear many yogis impressing on us the importance of our hips being open.  I wonder that the changes in our modern lives have made this shift necessary.

Our instructor spoke of our chakras.  I had never heard of chakras.  We studied energy centers, and opening these areas to light and to contemplation.  These were not things that I had studied in my Buddhist practice and I did not want to tarnish what I was learning from that.  And yet, I found myself years later engrossed in the Chakra system, feeling the energy flowing through me in ways I had only thought of as incidental during yoga class.

I don’t know when, between my college days and now, that the 200 hour yoga teacher training certification began.  We certainly didn’t have that option back then.  Now everything one wants to specialize in requires some kind of formal certificate before one is considered versed as an expert.  I believe now that I received 200 hours of training and then some.  If I do the math it was only 128 hours.  It was all ‘contact’ hours then.  And we were graded.  I miss the days of being accountable.  My yoga teacher training this last year was not graded.

My yoga teacher training now left a lot to be desired.  I have reviewed the syllabus that Yoga Alliance has standardized for certification.  I received all that in spades in college.  I received it at a time when my mind had room to accept and retain new ideas far easier and more completely than it seems to now.

Things I remember that were not discussed this time are :

Twists were to massage our inner organs, to squeeze out and cause stagnant energy to release and flow again.  Twists were to engage muscles and ligaments surrounding our vertebrae to expand, contract and strengthen our spine.  Forward folds were to open our lower back yes, but they were also to allow our blood flow easier access to the area above our heart.

Inversions were necessary yoga postures.  Inversions changed the flow of blood and strengthened our veins to push our blood flow even when our bodies were not upright.  What a crazy idea that sound like now.  I love inversions.  I could do headstands back then.  Today I feel like I am heavy, and that heaviness makes inversions uncomfortable.  Maybe in the new year I can change my thoughts to enjoy inversions above shoulder stands again.

I wish I would find my class notes from that time, from that class in 1980.   We practiced yoga every class.  Then we sat and listened to new ideas and theories.  We took notes and got back in our space to practice poses to feel them for ourselves.  We ended class with new sequences adding in the new poses.  We did not learn to teach yoga.  We learned this yoga for ourselves.

I believe today’s mainstream yoga has lost sight of the depth of the standard yoga asanas.  Yoga is about physical health that naturally transcends into spiritual health.   It is, I believe, our visual language that has made pretzel poses merely physical – and taken the yoga out of the pose.  I know that the twists and one legged standing tucked poses that were available to me in my twenties take longer to acheive at this time.  I am happy to release myself to tuck.  I am happy to stand on one leg.  I am cleared enough to twist.  The yoga in me is strong, it still practices.  And I continue to breathe.