“I am”

“I am” – is a huge topic.

In meditation today I found myself merely repeating “I am” statements.  “I am” is far larger than – “I am not.”  I imagine it is because we are more than we are not.  During meditation I repeated – I am, I am, I am.  These were the words that put me in my meditative state, and they are the same words that drew me back from thoughts to keep the momentum of my meditation.

At one point I updated my simple mantra.  I mentally said, I am love.  And this addition overwhelmed me.  I am overwhelmed in my meditations.  I often am, overwhelmed that is.  I blushed during this phrase.  I felt a swelling in my closed eyes that I held away.  In the act of holding away from love to keep from crying I realize I must find a way to accept the all of this love, and to joyfully accept.

“I am love.”  As my new mantra I let this thought dissolve into my being.  It dissolves much as the ListerineR strips dissolve on my tongue.  “I am love.”  The thought dissolves and fills me.  “I am love.”  It is not an action, it is being.  I am being.  I am love. I am.  My mind and this acceptance has me lifted in waves of this love.  I relax even further; fully taking in the hugeness of love.  Of course it is huge – it is universal.

My mind feels in this love that it is accepting and it is radiating simultaneously.  Flowing in and pouring out from me simultaneously, freely and openly.  I am love.   A power statement.  This statement is more than the statement, I am loving.  I am loving requires only outflow.  “I am love” fills me even as it is a release for me.  Love is a state of being.  I feel the movement within it.  For me it is waves, as I learn to accept larger and larger oceans of love.

I am love.  I am; in the hugeness of love.

In trying to achieve the growth to contain, to allow, to hold this hugeness of love my mantra changed again – I am magnificence.  This previous hugeness of love immediately becomes intimate and wholly acceptable.  I am magnificence.  And I am larger than my body, I am largeness – but magnificence as a magnanimous without additional connotation.  I am magnificence.  And so it is that I am larger and able to flow more completely as love.  I am magnificence.  It is not a conceit – it is a statement.  I am magnificence.  It is the doorstep of the next statement, the next mantra; I am god.

This mantra during my meditation was a natural progression.  For among the love that flows and eddies and the hugeness of this magnificence, I am god.   Awareness grew as an intimate shift into a confidence of being.  I was in meditation without my name.  And this felt as it should be. I was without emotion yet with a confidence and as a part (or as a whole) with love.

My meditation timer intones that I return to my today.  And so I continue my day in this confidence and trailing this love as a comet sets off its space dust, which only I feel, only I see this.  And it is a sight, though not with my eyes.  I am.

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