Self-Serving Blog of Learning

I’m supposed to be non-self-serving in my goal as yogini and instructor.

But all life is self-serving?  I like hosting class.  I love the feeling when my students praise me for a particularly good set.  I worry about how to make each class better for my students and myself.

There is a lot of chatter out there regarding showing humility, and to take myself out of the equation.  Are we crazy?  The only constant in this equation is me.  This is not narcissism, this is my blog.  These are the issues I am learning through.  These are my moments of growth.  Growth is better held when it is recognized.  I will not be a good yoga instructor without some self-analysis and consideration.

I can understand that this blog can be picked apart and tossed into the gutter in front of any yogi shrine.  I do not write this for someone’s editorial mastication.  I write this to explore my own journey.  It’s okay to be a beginner.  My body and my mind are only what they are at the time that they are.  Release, let go, enjoy.

I am seeking to be a strong, stable, knowledgeable and compassionate yoga instructor.  That’s it.  I am seeking to be my best.  I am too old to worry about being humble.  When good things happen I am pleased to be able to share.  Successes are so much easier and nicer to celebrate than our challenges.  I do not write so that readers can denigrate me with their own insecurities.  I write to dispel my insecurities –thereby making me a better instructor.

The first time I tied my shoes, the first time I rode my bike, the first time I solo’d a class, the first time I assisted with touch.  These are all huge, and they are still nothing.  They are each required to get on with life or yoga instruction.  As a Buddhist I expect to always have a seeking mind.  Whether my reader can see the seeking, is in the eye of my reader (whom I appreciate).  This is not a blog of knowledge, this is a blog of learning.  This is my blog of baby-steps to something even better down the road.  This is a new road for me.  I’m having a blast and I am still breathing.

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