There is Always One – the Individual

I have one student, that does not follow along with the class. She’s My Individual.  She does her asanas as she wants to.  It is beyond interpreting my cues.  No, she out-right does her own sequence.

As everyone closese their eyes at the beginning of class, I have quit closing my eyes.  I need to keep them open to see what my Individual is up to.  Repeated suggestions and recommendations to place her bum higher than her ankles on a bolser or a blanket in an easy cross-legged pose just isn’t going anywhere.  Everyone else is seated on a bolster and on blankets.  My Individual is purposefully the only student to stay seated on the mat.  She likes being the only one.  I recognize it is her yoga, her way.  She also doesn’t stay seated as long as the group does.  It is all I can do to keep the pace of the class even and still be sure my Individual is in an asana nearby.

This week, after a couple of warm up moves, I was guiding the class back into child pose before we kick it up a notch.  I look up from my own child pose to see My Individual is not in a child pose at all, but is threading the needle.  I realize that she probably does like yoga and that she is very comfortable in class.  I realize that I am not progressing through the postures in the manner she would prefer. I also realize there is nothing I can say that will get her to stay with the group.  She will do what she will do when she wants to do it.

For now I have come to the conclusion that I am not the one guiding her through postures.  I am, by default, giving her a space to guide herself.  The best I can do with this one – and I have spent a couple days considering what to do with this – is to keep an eye on her to be sure she is not going to do any damage and that she is doing the postures as well as possible.

The rest of the class is absorbed in their own practice.  Some have their eyes closed.  Most are looking off into the distance, soft gazes (beautiful drsti) unaware for the most part that my Individual is checking her shoulders hard to the right and then hard to the left.  (Oh, I so want to say something)  As long as My Individual is doing well, is not disturbing the rest of the class, and continues to join us for yoga, I’m happy.  I can’t say she hasn’t caused me some concern.  There is nothing I can truly do from here.  She is happy to come to class.  I wonder that she would feel stifled in a private class.  She would probably tell me it holds her too accountable.

Now that I have resigned myself to her yoga, her way…she makes me smile.  I think yoga may be her recess.

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